Cultural differences, language barriers, Bangkok maps: these are all things farangs struggle with on a regular basis. As a result they can be forgiven if they’re not always, er, fashionable.
That said, there is one thing, a line if you will, that is so consistently crossed and done with such impunity, that I feel like we Thais must speak out. I refer to, of course, the farang fashion faux pas. Farang men, in particular, seem to almost relish flaunting their lack of taste in our faces.
Gentlemen, take note: if you want to look good, these are things you should never wear:
5. Fisherman pants
These are comfortable. No one will argue with you there. And if you’re living on Khaosan Road, eating only Pad Thai and hooked up to an IV of cheap Chang they’re a required uniform.
Unfortunately, it is just a fact that the only group of Bangkok residents who actually wear fisherman pants and pull it off are the Chinese grandpas in Yaowarat. When you, dear farang, sport a pair it says, “Help me. I’m homeless.”
4. Baggy Pants
We understand your career as a freelance DJ is going great and that you can’t wait to tell your friends back home about how you’re so cool in “BKK”. But why does that mean you’re compelled to make an anti-fashion statement by exposing your underwear? It’s not attractive and the 1990s are (thankfully) long gone. Pull up your pants, boys.
3. Bead Necklace
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Yes, the elephant bead necklace you bought as a souvenir during a trekking trip in Chiangmai where you “discovered your true self” is adorable, but only to your mother. If you think it’s boho chic, well it’s not. It also smells because you refuse to take it off in the shower!
2. Funny Thai Language T-shirt
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It isn’t smart. It isn’t cute. It’s a poster that says, “I wanted to buy a clever shirt that would endear me to the locals.” Newsflash: we think it looks stupid. Just because Thai women look at you and giggle, it doesn’t always mean we like you. Sometimes we just don’t know how to react, especially when you choose to present yourself as a “Farang Baa”, which loosely translates into “Lunatic White Guy”.
Maybe this is a sad case of lost in translation, but as far as I’m concerned this cheese isn’t attractive in any language.
1. Beer Logo wife beater
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Of course, the winner goes to your favorite Chang Beer tank top that comes with a matching hat. It’s become so ubiquitous that in its own way, it is endearing. Personally, I have absolutely no idea why someone would decide to become a beer billboard of their own volition.
When a Thai sees you sporting a Chang top, it essentially says, “I’m a dumb tourist” in flashing neon lights. Think that’s harsh? Imagine a clueless Asian traveler wearing a Starbucks T-shirt and wandering around Time Square snapping pictures. There you go. That’s exactly what you look like.
