No shy winks here. Go “Down the Rabbit Hole” for real thoughts from Jessica Rabbit about her very real sex life.
DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE — Your bodies are dripping wet and glistening with beads of sweat. You can taste a hint of saltiness on your partner’s body as you kiss and lick in all the right places. Hot sweaty sex can be fun, but sometimes it can be too much to bear in Bangkok’s 365 days of summer. Let’s take a look at all the ways you can get your freak on and stay as cool as possible:
Hair Be Gone: First step to combating hot weather is to shave off all the unnecessary hair on your body. Ladies, many of you are probably already doing this on a regular basis, so this is really a public service announcement for the men. Proper landscaping is crucial down under. Not only because hair traps heat and odors, but do you know what it feels like when one person is bare skinned and the other isn’t? It’s like fucking a Scotch pad! I’m not telling you to shave it all off. Not everyone’s prepared to look like a prepubescent teen, but a nice trim can reduce the sweatiness and make your junk look bigger. Now who wouldn’t want that?
Get on the floor: Ever notice how the ground always seems cool to the touch? Dogs always press their balls against it and for good reason too. Heat rises, so the ground is always going to be cooler than any other part of your home. Going at it on surfaces like ceramic tiles, polished concrete or wooden flooring is one easy way you can cool down your sex in the Bangkok heat.
Jump in the Pool: Most condominiums in Bangkok are equipped with large swimming pools. If you’re attempting to have sex in the pool in broad daylight try one of these tricks: the female straddles the male and allows him to enter her by simply pushing her bikini bottoms aside. She hangs one arm casually around his neck, and with the other hand she points at random places towards the sky while saying “Look at that bird” and other things to distract passers-by from what’s going on underneath. Another technique is to have the guy enter from behind while she’s leaning against the side of the pool in repose. The guy should massage her head and shoulders to hide the fact that they’re fornicating. Nighttime pool sex is a lot less complicated. Just remember that everything is louder at night and sometimes security guards will appear out of nowhere.
Minimize body contact: When doing the nasty in this hot climate you have to employ the most optimal positions, which are those that have the least skin-to-skin contact. One easy position is the cowgirl or reverse cowgirl with him laying flat on his back. Place your feet flat on the ground so the only point of contact are your crotch areas. Another one of my favorites is doggie style. Get on your hands and knees with your ass hanging off the edge of your bed or couch and have him enter from behind while he’s standing. Skin contact doesn’t get more minimal than that. Here are some more ideas.
Use ice: This seems like a no-brainer, and yet not many people make use of ice cubes during sex. Two reasons why it works even better in the heat is the contrast of your body temperature to the ice. This means the icy sensation is felt so much more. Also, the ice cubes will melt almost instantly on a hot body, so the person giving the icy pleasure can drink up and stay hydrated during the ice play.
Public places: Having sex in public can be loads of fun. You can’t deny the thrill of thinking you might get caught at any second, or maybe you’re a secret exhibitionist. Either way, Bangkok’s heat gives you an additional reason to do it in public – free air conditioning! Think movie theater, five-star hotel bathroom, empty ballroom, department store dressing room, etc.
Go to Khao Yai: If you have time for a weekend getaway head two hours north to Khao Yai. Even in the hot yearlong summer of Thailand, temperatures drop dramatically at night up in the mountains. Enjoy the crisp air and sky filled with stars. Make it a spontaneous trip and don’t worry about bringing a tent. You can rent one in the national park, along with blankets and pillows. You may have to endure a cold shower, but that just gives you another reason to huddle up with your partner, right?
Give an icy BJ: Don’t be fooled by the name, this technique doesn’t actually make use of ice cubes. Take him deep into your throat and wet that thing all over with your tongue. On your way up, open your mouth so it’s not touching the shaft and suck in air through your mouth until you reach the head. This will turn your mouth into a mini air conditioner for the penis. Some guys go crazy simply because they never felt it before.
Use a sex toy: Let’s make things easier for everyone in this heat. By introducing a vibrator or any kind of sex toy you could speed up the time you or your partner reaches orgasm. Less work equals less sweat. But, good luck purchasing a toy in Bangkok.
Go further down the rabbit hole:
Believe it or not, I dated a hot virgin in Bangkok
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