Editor’s Note: Permanently closed
COCONUTS HOT SPOT — A newcomer and its cast of 10-legged crustaceans have moved into the shadow of perennially popular La Monita and El Osito at Mahatun Plaza.
It’s called Craberman, and it serves a self-proclaimed “authentic seafood experience” clearly inspired by American crab houses, but as someone who cut their teeth cracking my share of carapaces in the U.S. Crabopolis of Baltimore, I’d say they have a long way to go before they capture the charm, sensations and flavor of the real deal.
Some Old Bay seasoning might be a good start.
The interior is typical rustic shop-house style and looks torn from Ashley Sutton’s design book with a mess of dangling light bulbs from the ceiling. Worn license plates from the fly-over states find a place on the walls, along with nautical decorations like a framed collection of sailor’s knots. While it seems all the right elements are there, like exposed bricks and picnic-bench seating, it doesn’t have that worn feeling that a crab house should have; the furniture is pristine, and it’s apparent a good deal of money was spent outfitting the shop house. But authenticity demands grittiness, and although it may come in time, the restaurant is a little too “brand new.” It seems to just miss the mark, and this carries over to the food, too.
Now let’s talk crab. It’s THB700THB for a kilogram, which adds up to about four medium-sized crabs. The variety of crab they’re serving is called the “blue swimmer crab,” and it’s a staple in this part of the world. It’s a good thing they aren’t importing crabs from the United States, because that would drive the price up to unreasonable heights. Truth is these Thai crabs are remarkably close in flavor to the Maryland (Atlantic) Blue crab. The meat is sweet (though far less sweet than the revered Pacific Dungeness), but where it falls short is in the preparation.
Craberman skimps on the seasoning. Normally a generous portion of Old Bay is sprinkled, slathered and caked on as the crabs go into the steamer. The salty and zesty mix almost turns into a paste that coats the crabs after cooking, and they’re served this way to the table. At Craberman, you have the option of getting your crabs done in a “secret” seasoning (Wouldn’t it be helpful to tell at least give us a clue what to expect? We’re trying to be authentic here, right?) that resembles Old Bay, but the amount used is meager at best. I ended up resorting to the spicy green seafood sauce that can be found at any seafood restaurant in Thailand instead of enjoying the tart and acidic zing of proper seasoning.
The fault really lies in going for the “authentic” schtick. In fact as a customer it’s better to approach this place as if it were a Thai seafood joint. The staff is quite knowledgeable and can helpfully demonstrate proper form in wielding a mallet to extract every bit of meat out of the crab. I was impressed when the service staff, without even asking, taught us how to remove the claws and legs, open up the abdominal plate, throw away the shell, crack the body in half, suck out the good stuff and finally use the mallets on the claws. It’s exactly like I learned back home, and you usually don’t get a proper wooden mallet at seafood digs in Thailand, so this aspect of the experience was certainly the highlight of the meal.
Come for crabs – hence Craberman – but also check out the other seafood items such as river prawns and oysters. The river prawns ring in at THB1,250 for a kilogram, which is a bit steep compared to what you can get closer to the coast. The prawns come grilled, cut in half and with the tomalley perfectly preserved – no spillage here. When we visited, there was only Heineken or water to drink.
To get the real Crab house experience they’d need to serve National Bohemian, but we’d settle for Budweiser.
Photos: Natalie Compton
FIND IT:
Craberman
Mahatun Plaza
BTS Ploen Chit
Get fresh Coconuts delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to our newsletter for a chance to win a marvelous Coconuts hat.
Reader Interactions